Even Super Villains Buy Groceries
by chatnoir1
Summary: Jane and Loki bump into each other at Whole Foods and Jane learns something new about him. She really needs to read some of those myths.


**Even Super-Villains buy Groceries**

**A.N. **Not mine, all belong to Norse Mythology and Marvel. Gewürztraminer is a sweet white wine, it goes well with Asian food, Münster cheese, smoked salmon

Jane was on a mission. A mission to wean Thor from Pop Tarts. She was in the Whole Foods bulk food area trying to make up her mind about whether to buy granola, museli or plain oats, when there was a sound of impatience behind her and a cultured male voice spoke.

"Are you planning on standing there until the next harvest, Jane Foster?"

Jane closed her eyes briefly, then turned towards the voice. "Hello to you too, Loki. I'm trying to decide which of these would have the best chance of replacing Pop Tarts as Thor's breakfast of choice."

If I might make a suggestion?" Jane nodded. "Granola. The sweeter the better - perhaps the Maple Walnut? He might eat the oatmeal if you put honey in it. Though to be honest, I don't care if he puts Nutella on Lucky Charms cereal and washes it down with a Big Gulp. I wish you could get him to do something with his hair - it reminds me too much of that reality tv star Dog the Bounty Hunter."

Jane snorted. "You're one to talk, Severus Snape."

"Pardon?"

"From the Harry Potter books. A tall, skinny wizard with long, greasy black hair and ambiguous morality. Look him up. Only he doesn't slick his hair back." On an impulse Jane reached over and mussed Loki's hair. "There, much better." _*I'm going to die*_

As Loki stood there, speechless, his green eyes wide in disbelief, a rather striking woman walked up. She was blonde and dressed in colors similar ro Loki's, only where he was wearing a green t-shirt underneath his black leather jacket, she was wearing a green corset. She gave Jane a cold, assessing look, then addressed Loki.

"You abandon me in the wine section and I finally locate you, only to find you trolling the aisles, and some mortal trollop running her fingers through your hair."

Jane couldn't be certain, but she though she caught a flash of panic in Loki's eyes. He gathered himself and turned to face the newcomer.

"I'm doing nothing of the sort. I believe introductions are due. This is Dr. Jane Foster. Thor's Jane Foster. Jane Foster, this is Sigyn, my wife."

"Thor's Jane?" Sigyn said, just as Jane said "Your wife?"

"Yes and Yes." Loki smoothed his hair back. "I didn't abandon you Sigyn. I left you in the capable hands of the store clerk, with instructions to get a few bottles of the store's best Gewürztraminer for tonight and a few bottles of their best merlot for tomorrow."

"I'd rather have mead or ale."

Loki sighed. It was a very put upon, 'see what I have to deal with' sort of sigh. "I explained to you that the ale, beer and mead to be found in this realm are inferior, weaker than what is served to a child at a feast in Asgard. Let me finish up here, then I will accompany you back to the wine section."

"Your wife." Jane repeated her earlier comment. She wanted to make sure of this.

"Yes." Loki was beginning to sound a bit testy. "And she is a magic user as well, so I'd advise you to be polite."

"And the two of you are grocery shopping." Jane was thinking this was how Alice must of felt when she went down the rabbit hole and found herself in Wonderland.

"Yes. I no longer live in a palace with servants, and dining out all the time becomes tiresome. So I shop and I cook. I've even taken a few classes. Everyone needs a hobby." Loki started filling a bag with museli.

"Yes, but I thought your hobby was doing things like turning cars into candy, having statues run riot, that sort of thing." Jane decided to get the blueberry granola, it had to be better for Thor than the Pop Tarts.

"Such childish acts are rather a waste of your talents, don't you think husband?" Sigyn smiled at Loki. "Why don't you take care of the wine, while I get to know Jane a bit better."

Loki didn't think that was a good idea at all, but he acquiesed.

"Males. I sometimes think it would be less trouble to keep them kennelled, like one does a dog, and take them out when you have need of them." Sigyn laughed. "I sound like Brunhilde."

Jane laughed as well. "I wasn't aware that Loki is married. I don't know that much about Norse Mythology, except a bit about Thor."

"I sometimes wonder if Loki is aware that he is married. Fidelity is not one of his strengths. He will the first to admit he's earned his title as The Whore of the Nine Realms. I've always liked Thor. Brave, noble, fiercely loyal, not too bright. I haven't spent much time in the company of the royal family of late, Loki being in disgrace. At the very mention of his name, Odin All-Father's jaw clinches, he growls, his left eye begins to twtich, and his hands open and close as if he wished to have them around my husband's slender neck. Frigga worries, and I hope to ease her fears through my visit. Compassionate, faithful, forgiving Sigyn, that's me."

"Well, and don't tell Loki I said this, he is charming and intelligent and gorgeous."

"He is those things and more. Some good, most not." Sigyn sighed. It was an affectionate sigh. "And he returns."

Loki added the bottles of wine to the shopping cart. "I see you finally made a decision Jane Foster. Congratulations. Sigyn, my love, shall we go take a look at the seafood? I'm in the mood for blue crab and lobster tails."

"Very well. It was nice to have met you, Jane. We should have dinner together with you and Thor while I am here."

"Not at my apartment." Loki stated emphatically. "We will dine out. If I agree. You must remember Sigyn, Thor and I fight on opposite sides."

"Someplace other than Long John Silver's. Thor took me there for dinner and he was so happy and excited about it that I didn't have the heart to tell him going to Long John Silver's doesn't qualify as a romantic evening out. Not even if you're sixteen."

"A nice restaurant, I promise." Loki placed his hand over his heart. "Until then."

Sigyn rolled her eyes, which Loki missed, though Jane did not. She was able to suppress her urge to giggle.

"Later." Jane waited until the pair were out of sight, then pulled out her cell phone. Darcy didn't pick up, neither did Pepper nor Natasha. Jane left a message for each of them to call her. She wasn't gonna tell them about Loki and Sigyn over the phone, this was something you had to tell face to face and maybe even film. Darcy was gonna go into hyper hysterics. She added some cheese, a baguette and a few bottles of pinot grigio to her basket, then headed for the checkout. She was gonna arrange a kick ass girl's night in.

.


End file.
